We all need a healthy balance of time to ourselves plus time with others. However, those of us on the Autism Spectrum may have intense special interests and social awkwardness. To other people, this can make it look like we are content to stay in our own little worlds.
But what some people don’t see is that there is this unfortunate paradox for us on the ASD Spectrum. We can to tend be unintentionally socially inappropriate, which drives people away, yet there are those of us thirsty for companionship, because hey…we’re human beings.
As a mom on the Spectrum, I’ve realized I’m not an island. I’m a peninsula–stubbornly jutting out from the mainland, but still forever a part of it.
I rely on the connection to that big, varied continent of Everybody, to keep me from being stuck in my head in an unhealthy way. To relieve some of the intensity that gathers when I’m by myself too long. And when you’re a mama, there’s really no such thing as “by yourself”, but stay-at-home moms, you know what I mean–going through days mostly void of adult conversation or any communication more meaningful than whining and sudden tantrums (mine, that is…just kidding).
Yes, I would love to dive under a pile of covers, curl up into a tight little ball like a dead bug and sleep for several millennia. I want to create art and listen to music and read, or heck, just poop, with absolutely no interruptions. Not from my child, my husband, Facebook, or whoever randomly calls me.
But I also really want connections with friends and family and other moms. And to meet up over coffee/wine/whatever beverage suits the hour, discussing late nights and is your kid walking yet because mine isn’t and things like that.
I just want others to know that even though we may not look like it, sometimes we get lonely here in our own little worlds. And we may not all know how to come out and say “hi”. Though some of our behaviors may be different from the general population, we are unique, fascinating people to know. So, say “hello” to an Aspie today. Ask them what they find interesting (I guarantee you’ll get an answer!). Because everyone needs a little companionship…and that’s how it is to be human.