Hey there, haven’t seen ya in awhile…
I started this blog when weebee was new, and she’s changed a bit since then. At 18 months, she’s feeding herself, running around, sleeping better, and… asserting her adorable independence, however crudely and LOUDLY.
Yep, tantrum time–we’re learning the hard way that the “terrible twos” actually hit more than a bit earlier than two! Well, hiding in the closet doesn’t help *her* any, yelling back is certainly a bad idea, and she’s not in any mood for cuddles or play when she’s that angry.
So what do I do?? The main thing is…she wants/doesn’t want something, and she’s incapable of saying what that is, usually. Sometimes I can guess and sometimes I have no idea what she wants, and I’m literally just standing there saying, “what do you want??!”. I can just feel the frustration coming off her! I can understand, I’ve definitely felt frustrated because I couldn’t voice what was wrong myself, or so upset I didn’t have words to describe it. But if *I* have a hard time handling frustration sometimes, then how will I teach her???
Well, I’m still working on that. My daughter has helped me see what things don’t really matter (like food on the carpet can always be cleaned up), so I get upset over fewer small things. She’s also taught me what my limits are, even though I thought I knew them already (I didn’t until I became a mom). Everyone has limits, and if you know just what yours are, you can check yourself before you reach them. If I feel myself reaching a limit, it seems to help if I remove myself from the situation and whatever stimuli is making it worse.
I think/hope things will improve for her when she is able to use words to tell us what’s wrong. Until then, I’ve read that it helps to show her I’m listening and can see she is upset, like saying “I know you’re mad that it’s naptime! You want to keep playing”. Everyone appreciates a little empathy. She also likes to be forewarned of changes, like me–if she is going in her carseat, I tell her where we are going and what she’ll get to do. I’m not sure she can understand many words, but she gets my tone of voice. We’re both works in progress here!
What about you? Is your kiddo in the tantrum stage? Have any tips for calming your toddler, or helping communication skills? Post them below 🙂